So far so good....

By the time I got back into the RE office on Tuesday, I was feeling pretty twingy.  Which is good, since the entire time I was in this cycle, I wasn't feeling a thing.  Which is why they almost called the whole thing off.  Wouldn't that have been rough.

By the time Tuesday (4/22) rolled around, the dr found 3 good follicles on my right: 25.5, 21.5, 17.5, and 2 small 10's.  On the left, I had a 15.5, a 15, 13.5, and 2 under 10's.  They had me trigger with Novarel at 9PM on Tuesday, and scheduled for the retrieval today, Thursday 4/24, 8AM.

The retrieval was scheduled for today, 8:30AM.  I was told to come in at 8AM, so I dropped my son off at the baby sitter's at 7:30 and hopped on the train.  But as I was getting off the train at my stop in the city at 8:10, my phone buzzed that I had a vm....and it was the anesthesiologist!  He said I was late because they were expecting me at 7:30!   Of course they were wrong, I had my appointment paper that clearly stated the later time, but of course the sullen nurse at the desk took it upon herself to scold me and give me the cold shoulder until I told her that I was, in fact, on time.  Why do they sometimes get so righteous?!?!  It's an INFERTILITY CLINIC for Pete's Sake!  No attitude at the desk please, we all have enough on our mind.  Even if I was late, would I really have been late on purpose for the retrieval?!?

There. I feel better.  Well, anyway, they were able to retrieve 8 eggs.  I assume at least 2 of them were too small since my last scan showed only 5 mature or close to mature follicles.  So doing a bit of unscientific math, I think if they can successfully ICSI 4 of the 6 eggs, then allow for the 50% blast rate, I might be looking at 2 embies to transfer.

I just have to sit tight through the weekend and make it to Sunday so I can hear what they say.  I'll be keeping myself ultra busy til then...

When the going gets tough

Sigh. This IVF cycle isn't going as well as I'd hoped.  After they failed to call me on Wednesday to inform me of the increase in Gonal-F, now they are saying that my little follicles on my right ovary didn't even grow at all.  This is after the last 2 days of increased dosage (today is Sunday, and I found out about the meds increase on Friday).  Naturally I asked if they thought that the failure to increase my dosage on time might be contributing to my slow response.  The answer is the appropriately PR response of, "we don't know, some women up their meds and just don't respond....."  UGH!  

I was instructed to go ahead with 2 more nights of meds and to return on Tuesday to determine whether we proceed with the extraction and move forward or if we cancel.  I have 1-20mm, and 1-16mm, but the remaining 4 follicles are under 13, and might not get to the desired size by Tuesday.  They won't proceed without 3 good-sized follicles.

I left the Dr's office in funk naturally.  And of course, I started feeling bloated and ache-y in the afternoon....Murphy's Law.  My ovaries were feeling scrambled for the first time since I started this cycle on the 12th!!  Well, maybe the little guys are waking up finally.

Anyway, the stress of it all made me head right over to Whole Foods and buy up half the store.  I came home, strapped on my apron, and started on 2 loaves of boule (round white) bread, herb roasted turkey thighs, a whole roasted branzini, grilled baby octopus, peppered lima beans, and grilled short rib.  

My husband immediately ate an entire loaf of bread, and I ate the octopus, a slice of bread, some chips and guacamole from Friday's stressful doctor's visit, and a bunch of lima beans.  

Well, at least my stress keeps us well fed.

So...do I stress about this??

Today I went to Day 7 monitoring in this current IVF cycle.  They didn't call me on Wednesday to tell me that I had to up the Gonal F dose to 225.  THEY DIDN'T CALL!  WTF?  So now I am doing everything, and I mean everything, in my power to not let this spiral out of control in my head, because once I start on the negative OMG-what-is-this-going-to-do path I know it'll affect my response to the meds in general.  Less stress=better cycle.  Or so the thinking goes.

But really, c'mon, who was working that day??  Maybe I should call them everyday just to get a 'anything new to report?' report from them, but I always try to be a model patient who doesn't go overboard with the followup.  Geez.  I'll have to take the day to rethink that.

But, they detected that my follicles are 17, 15, two-13s, and then on the left, two sorta-13s.  Not the greatest response, but not horrible either.

We shall see.  

Ugh. Feeling it.

Today marks the 5th day of stim for my current IVF cycle in an attempt to conceive.  I'm feeling quite headache-y, but I wonder if that's because my scan stressed me out today....they only detected 4 follicles on my right ovary and 1 on my left.  My lead follicle measures 13mm, with the rest 11, 10, just under 10, and 9.  Most likely I'm ache-y because of all this estrogen, though, and in a bad mood 'cuz of the scan results.  But it's still early, too early to know what this cycle will result in.  I can tell you this, it helps to be calm and anything-but-angry during the nightly injections.  

I remember when I first went through this process. I was so angry in general at having to go through such a physically invasive process to have a child.  So I bruised almost every night, and of course, it didn't work.  This time, with the wonders of motherhood to guide me, I welcome the invasiveness if it means I get to be a mom to one more gorgeous, hot-tempered, loving, squishy little child.  Come to think of it, I was downright ignorant the first time.  I didn't realize the reward far-outweighs any price you have to pay upfront.  Just that....well...the headaches and hot flashes are annoying.  And the needles suck too.

Every morning, 6:30AM

Without fail, my almost-4 year old son Christopher climbs into our bed, always my side, and reaches under my pjs to rub my belly.  Now, though, I've taught him that I don't always want him to reach under my shirt at any time he feels the urge (in the grocery store, at the mall, standing in line for the bathroom...) -- but instead he should ask me.  

Me, grabbing his little hands: 'Christopher, ask mommy before you rub my belly.'

Christopher, after a brief 2 second pause: ' Can I touch your bed-de?'

Me:  'No.  Touch my arm instead.'

Christopher, crestfallen:  'Aw, I don't wanna touch your arm.'

Christopher's been obsessed with my belly since he was around 18 months.  I think it was after I finally taught him that reaching into my shirt for my chest wasn't going to fly, after weaning him at around 11 months.  So he's moved onto rubbing my stomach or putting his cheek against my belly button.  It wouldn't be such a bad thing if he would not feel the urge in such public places!  I'm the mom who is trying to look dignified in the public restroom while holding hands with a squirming toddler, who suddenly lifts my shirt for all the world to see....

Soon, though, it's going to be my arm.  Hopefully.